Your chest tightens during a normal Tuesday morning meeting. Your mind races at 2 AM over things that seemed fine during the day. You tell yourself (your unconscious mind) it’s just stress from work, relationships, or life in general.
But what if it’s not?
As a therapist, Bianca sees this confusion every day. People walk into our office saying, “I think I’m just stressed,” only to discover they’ve been living with anxiety that’s been quietly hijacking their daily life.
Here’s the thing: stress and anxiety feel similar, but they’re not the same. And knowing the difference could be the key to finally feeling like yourself again.
Why This Matters More Than You Think
Stress is your body’s natural response to real, immediate challenges. Your boss gives you a deadline. You feel stressed. You finish the project. The stress goes away.
Anxiety? That’s different.
Anxiety sticks around even when there’s no tiger chasing you. It creates problems where none exist and turns small hiccups into catastrophic disasters in your mind.
The problem is, when you keep calling anxiety “just stress,” you miss out on getting the right help. You end up trying stress management techniques for an anxiety problem. It’s like using a bandage for a broken bone; well-intentioned, but missing the mark.
Sign #1: Your Worries Have Taken Over the Driver’s Seat
Stress worry looks like this: “I’m worried about this presentation tomorrow.”
Anxiety worry looks like this: “I’m worried about the presentation tomorrow, and what if I mess up, and what if everyone thinks I’m incompetent, and what if I get fired, and what if I can’t pay my bills, and what if…”
See the difference?
Stress worry is specific and proportionate. Anxiety worry is like a runaway train that picks up random cars along the way.
If your worries feel bigger than the actual problem, or if one small concern snowballs into a dozen “what if” scenarios, you’re likely dealing with anxiety, not stress.
What you can do about it: Try the “5-4-3-2-1” grounding technique when your mind starts spiralling. Name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. This pulls your brain back to the present moment instead of letting it run wild with future disasters that probably won’t happen.
Sign #2: Your Body Is Always “On”
Sarah, one of our clients, described it perfectly: “I feel like my body is always waiting for something bad to happen, even when I’m watching Netflix.”
Stress creates physical symptoms that match the situation. Big presentation = sweaty palms. Traffic jam = tight shoulders. Normal stuff.
Anxiety keeps your body in a constant state of alert, even during safe, calm moments.
Physical signs that point to anxiety rather than stress:
- Muscle tension that doesn’t go away after the stressful event ends
- Stomach issues with no medical cause
- Feeling tired but wired at the same time
- Random heart racing during normal activities
- Shallow breathing, even when you’re not doing anything stressful
Your nervous system gets stuck in “danger mode” and forgets how to relax.
What you can do about it: Practice progressive muscle relaxation. Start with your toes and work your way up, tensing each muscle group for 5 seconds, then releasing. This teaches your body the difference between tension and relaxation. Something about anxiety makes us forget.
Sign #3: Sleep Becomes Your Enemy
Stress might keep you up the night before a big event. Anxiety keeps you up on random Tuesday nights, replaying conversations from three weeks ago or planning for problems that don’t exist yet.
With stress, sleep usually returns to normal once the stressful situation passes. With anxiety, your brain treats bedtime like it’s time for the evening news, broadcasting every worry, fear, and random concern from the day.
You might find yourself:
- Lying awake, reviewing everything you said during the day
- Waking up at 3 AM with your mind already racing
- Feeling tired but unable to “turn off” your thoughts
- Having vivid, anxious dreams that leave you exhausted
What you can do about it: Create a “worry window” earlier in the day. Set aside 15 minutes (not before bed) to write down all your worries. Tell your brain, “We’ll deal with these during worry time, not sleep time.” When anxious thoughts pop up at night, remind yourself you’ll address them during tomorrow’s worry window.
Sign #4: You’re Avoiding Things That Used to Be Normal
This one sneaks up quietly.
You stop going to social events because “you’re too tired.” You avoid the grocery store during busy times. You turn down opportunities because they feel “too overwhelming.”
Stress makes you temporarily avoid the stressful thing. Anxiety makes you start avoiding life.
The tricky part? The avoidance often feels reasonable. You tell yourself you’re just being practical or taking care of yourself. But anxiety is smart. It convinces you that shrinking your world is self-care.
Red flags that suggest anxiety-driven avoidance:
- Making excuses to skip activities you used to enjoy
- Choosing the longer route to avoid certain places
- Declining invitations not because you don’t want to go, but because they feel “too much”
- Putting off important tasks that aren’t actually difficult
What you can do about it: Start small with “opposite action.” If anxiety tells you to avoid the grocery store, go for just 10 minutes to buy one item. If it says don’t go to the party, commit to staying for 30 minutes. You’re not fighting anxiety head-on; you’re gently proving to yourself that these situations are actually manageable.
Sign #5: Your Inner Critic Has Become a Full-Time Job
Everyone has an inner critic (your unconciuos mind or higher power). With stress, it might pipe up during challenging situations. With anxiety, it becomes a 24/7 commentator on everything you do, say, think, or feel.
Stress-based inner critic: “That presentation could have gone better.”
Anxiety-based inner critic: “You’re terrible at presentations. Everyone could tell you were nervous. They probably think you’re incompetent. You shouldn’t have taken this job. You’re going to get fired. You’re a failure.”
The anxiety version is harsher, more personal, and completely disproportionate to reality.
This inner critic often focuses on:
- Everything you’ve ever done “wrong”
- Why you’re not good enough compared to others
- All the ways things could go badly
- Proof that you can’t handle normal life situations
What you can do about it: Talk to your inner critic (your unconciuos mind or higher power) like you would a scared child. Instead of fighting it or trying to shut it up, acknowledge it: “I hear that you’re worried about me messing up. Thanks for trying to protect me. I’ve got this handled.” This approach is gentler than trying to argue with anxious thoughts and is often more effective.
When to Get Professional Help
Here’s what we tell people who are unsure whether they need therapy:
If these signs sound familiar and they’re interfering with your work, relationships, or daily activities, you’re not “overreacting” by seeking help. You’re being smart.
Professional support can help you:
- Learn the difference between real threats and anxiety-created ones
- Develop coping strategies that actually work for your specific situation
- Address any underlying causes contributing to your anxiety
- Get back to feeling like yourself instead of living in constant worry mode
At TLC Therapies and Training Centre, we work with anxiety using multiple approaches – from traditional cognitive therapy to hypnotherapy and NLP techniques. Because anxiety affects both your mind and body, we help you address both sides of the equation.
Your Next Steps (Choose What Feels Right)
You don’t have to fix everything at once. Pick one strategy that resonated with you and try it for a week:
For immediate relief:
- Use the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique when your mind starts spiralling
- Practice progressive muscle relaxation for 10 minutes before bed
For longer-term changes:
- Create a daily “worry window” to contain anxious thoughts
- Start small with opposite action when you notice avoidance patterns
- Talk to your inner critic like a concerned friend instead of fighting it
For professional support:
- Consider reaching out to a therapist who specialises in anxiety treatment
- Look into cognitive therapy, NLP, or hypnotherapy approaches that address anxiety at its root
Remember This
Anxiety isn’t a character flaw or something you should just “deal with.” It’s a treatable condition that responds well to the right approach.
The fact that you’re reading this and considering whether your experience might be anxiety? That’s actually a huge step. Many people live with anxiety for years without recognising it for what it is.
You deserve to feel calm, confident, and in control of your own mind. That’s not too much to ask. It’s exactly what you should expect from life.
And if anxiety has been controlling your thoughts for a while, now is the time to take back control.
Ready to take the next step? Contact TLC Therapies and Training Centre to explore how our anxiety therapy, cognitive therapy, and NLP techniques can help you move from surviving to thriving. You don’t have to figure this out alone.
